Seeing the soul

I am rarely moved by a site the way I was moved by www.jengray.com it is so amazing to see someone who has such unbelievable talent share it with the rest of us. I love to take pics of my kids but my camera never captures the soul of my subject like Jen Gray's does. Thanks Dee for showing it to me.

Josh at Rye Playland (NY) about 2 years ago
Posted by Hello

Eric and Renee's wedding (Josh and I are standing beside the bride at the bottom of the stairs)
Posted by Hello

Interdependence Day

On July 3rd (July 4th being Inderpendence Day in the USA), my friends Eric and Renee got married. I am at the stage in my life where many of my friends who married young are either going through some upheavel, working out some major issues or not being able to get through the issuses and are now either dating up a storm or have found their soulmates. Now I don't use the word soul mate lightly because it something that I do believe in, I also believe that there are many people fall into that category and that we donot have just one soul mate but people who capture parts of our soul at various stags of our lives. My kids have monopolized parts that will never be returned to me and belong to them forever. Past loves have a special place and while Josh is convinced we are soul mates I believe he is the only man I could ever be with. I could not imagine being with anyone else but he is only a part f my soul and all that completes me.

I look at my friends who are doing this marriage thing for the second time around and being a person who just loves to explore peoples minds, hearts and souls I have noticed that the stars are there but this time under the guidance of a telescope. Their thoughts are clearer, their outlooks bright and their bonds undying. Gone are the fairytale hopes of happily living after these are marriages built on so much more then love but a solid basis of what a good friend of mine would term standing in your own truth. And I believe they will live happily ever after because of it.

I am also fortunate in that having married later in life I think my expectations of marriage are so different. I spent a wonderful day with a friend in the city who got married in her 40's and we both agreed that we had a chance to explore every part of our beings by getting married older. There really is nothing on my to do list that I need to do alone. I have done all I want to do. Being a person who lives in the here and now I don't believe in having regrets and while obviously it has all not been a bed of roses or easy going always and there are things I would like to have said or done differently for the most part I have lived the best possible life that I can. And I am grateful for that. How lucky am I to live a colourful life, with ups and downs. Joys and sadness and a huge rainbow of hope and tenacity that throws me through all that life has to follow. I can't help but thank my folks for always giving me a safe place to return to, a warm heart to bask in and their undying love to push me through. I am who I am because of them, not as many people who I know who are who they are inspite of their upbringings.
Thank you mom and dad who have been married 40 years and still get each other (for the most part :)

the girls and I
Posted by Hello

My soccer star
Posted by Hello

My little Maradona
Posted by Hello

Weekly Adventure

This week has whizzed by. There are times where I just stand back and am amazed at the speed of life. Work took off with a vengeance which is always nice, its been really slow and I just don't love not earning and being part of the stay at home mom crew is not for me. I think Josh and the kids would prefer is I stayed home, cooked dinner every night and carpooled the kids to karate, dance and oragami. The truth is that there is a part of my self esteem that is directly linked to earning and being my own person seperate from my family. At work, I am no-ones daughter, mother, sister or wife. I have a persona that is all me, I can be whomever I was before I had those labels and it is fun. The work itself is fulfilling its just an added bonus that I happen to meet funny and smart people in my travels.

Josh's baby arrived today - I must say it is really cute and while I think I am going to become a landrover widow while he restores it, I think it is wonderful that he has managed to attain his dream. Sure I have to marry a guy whose dream is to own a 1949 Landrover, why could it not be someone who wants to own a 2005 Porsche or Corvette - now you're talking. Instead of cruising at a solid 100 miles per hour the top speed on his baby is a rocking 40.

On Wednesday Josh went to London to watch the rugby. How is it I married an American Boer?? He is a castle swilling, biltong eating, potjie making Afrikaner. The fact that he was born in America is just a geographical error I think he would have set up his own ox wagon and re-enacted the great Trek. Him and my dad are Rugby obsessed. Go figure. He is having a grand old time. I must say I have enjoyed the break to. Meeting friends for dinners, lunches and even doing a marathon shop day out East with another. Spending time with my girls its a different dynamic when he is not here and we have had some wonderful laid back times. They are great girls, very loving and affectionate.

On Wednesday I was out until late. Whenever I get home or before I go to sleep I always tuck my girls in and give them a last kiss for the day. I got home at around 10:30pm and tucked Nikki in and while I did she opened her eyes, saw me, murmered "mommy" and this grin just spread across e whole face as she grabbed my hand and pulled it under the cover with her and promptly fell back asleep while clutching my hand. I have never been loved by anyone as much as I have been by Nikki. She loves me to a depth that I never knew existed. She is a kid of such polar opposites, she loves with a vengenance and is a cuddly little kitten, in the next breath she is a headstrong, metal minded 4-year old that can not be swayed.

My friend Debi and I spent Thursday running to various stores that are hidden gems. In the midst of our travels we concluded that we had not known what love was before we had kids and we had also not known what frustration meant when we had kids.

After my closing I went to meet my friend Ellen at her gorgeous home. She lives in one of the Trump Plazas on Riverside Park Drive. She has this unbelievable view of the Hudson River and the apartment building is truly breath taking. She is a very successful executive and works for one of the major accounting firm. She is such a dynamic and smart woman who gives her all to everything she does but remains grounded and real inspite of all that she has achieved. She is expecting her second child. When she had her first child she turned to her mom and said to her that she had no idea how much her mother loved her. She always knew her mom loved her but could not even begin to comprehend just how much.

I think that pretty much says it all. Thanks Mom (and Dad).

mom, dad, zonk and I
Posted by Hello

Home in a heartbeat

We had such a wonderful weekend, spent Saturday Night celebrating a friends 40th birthday with a whole group of interesting and funny people. It was really a great evening. Yesterday was my favourite kind of day an impromptu gathering with lots of people. The day started with a call from my cousin Darren to see if we want to get together. I told him I can throw a pot of chili together - he loves chili so the afternoon was set in motion. I called Josh who was on the soccer field with Nikki. Our firend Kevin heard him say that Chili was fine for dinner, so Kevin Promptly invited his family (of 4) for dinner. At that time I was at a birthday party with Ryan and my friend Nancy was there with her husband Brian. Brian asked me if Josh knew anything about TV's, I said no but he was in luck as my cousin Darren was coming over for dinner and he was welcome to come for chili to. So we went from nothing to having 14 people over for a late lunch earlier dinner. They came from 2p and stayed until 9pm, the kids ran ragged, we laughed so much. It was really the perfect kind of day. At one point in the day I just sat back and looked at all the people having a great time in my home and it just felt so good. I think growing up in a country like South Africa where hospitality is as natural as breathing it just warms the soul to have ones home vibrate with people, laughter and tons of food. Truly my favourite kind of day.

The Tammy Jinx

I seem to have this uncanny knack of calling people at the worst possible times in their lives. My mom being the true nurturer that she is feels that I call people at that moment because I can sense that is the time they need me the most. I just think I am jinxed. Case in point: I have a friend who works with her dad. The poor guy has had two strokes BOTH while on the phone with me. My father-in-law had surgery, I called just as the catheter was being removed. Today I called a friend just as she gets a call from her husband to say he thinks they may be victims of identity theft, her and I rarely speak on the phone. She hung up in a bit of a state (obviously) so I called back to see how she was doing and her husband gave her the phone and he promptly fell down the stairs. Did I say Jinxed - sorry guys - hope he is feeling better - excuse me while I go get my phone disconnected.

The Brotters are expecting

Yes its that time again. We have expanded our family. The newest arrival is coming in the next week. Josh has been making space in the garage to make a nursery for our new arrival ........ what do you think of the baby's pic? Does it look ilike him?

The newest member of our family
Posted by Hello

The sun, the sea and two girls spells trouble :)
Posted by Hello

Fun in the sun
Posted by Hello

Whirlwind Weekend

This weekend whirled around us, leaving us absolutely exhausted but it was really a great one. Friday Night was at a friend of Nikki's Birthday party. This friends mother is a riot and we honestly did not stop laughing for a minute. She has got such a great family and I must say it always makes me feel like home to be around them. We did not get home until almost midnight so the kids were zonked which obviously did not hamper their 6am wake up call - what is with that??

Did the birthday party shuffle on Saturday Morning it was great hanging out with my group of Yentas as the kids got sugared up and painted works of art. We then got home and went into high gear had 24 people coming over for dinner. What started out as impromptu pizza party became a gourmet Eliasov catering event. Am not really sure which deficient gene kicks into play but all I know is that I hear my moms voice loud and clear berating me for serving ordered in food. She always goes to such great lengths to cook up a storm and I fear that I too have that gene that feeds people until they can no longer move and makes sure that there is enough food for at least ten times the amount of people that are expected.

It was a great night although it was another late one followed by yet another early morning - what is with my kids that they can function at such high speeds on such little sleep. Have some rachmonas for your poor folks. After the soccer shuffle, another Yenta fest, Josh and I packed the kids up and headed for the beach. He has a permit for his jeep and we often go for picnics and watch the sunset, either with the kids or with another couple. It just fills the soul with such peace. It was a pretty cold day and the kids had such fun rolling down sand dunes. They then got into water play which we had warned them not to. It was so hard being a responsible parent, they were having so much fun and we were so relaxed but I had to cut the day short, wrap up my soaking wet kids and head for home. We all felt a little cheated. We then got into our jacuzzi bath tub and settled in for a night of family shnuggle time - videos and two little bodies pressed between mom and dad. Good stuff.

The Finished Product and lots left over for Pumpkin Pie
Posted by Hello

carving a Jack O'Lantern
Posted by Hello

Brotter Family Trick or Treat
Posted by Hello

The Wicked Witch of the West
Posted by Hello

Brotter family trick or treat
Posted by Hello

Josh scores big points

As I had mentioned in my previous posts Josh had never been into the birthday thang and has taken serious flack for it over the years. This year he got it. Finally. The actually day was great.

He was going to put together a party for me at a restaurant with a whole lot of couples. I said to him I would much rather have a luncheon with some of my buddies from the neighborhood, so he coordinated the whole shebang. On Thursday there were 10 of us at a restaurant called Coolfish, it is a very foo-foo restaurant and the food is outstanding - it was so incredibly yummy. They have a seared black and blue sesame crusted tuna salad with a mango salsa that I would seriously auction my kids off for. We had such fun, and I must say I was completely blown away, Josh had a huge bouquet of flowers sent to the restaurant. Talk about scoring big points.

The Votes are All In

I sit here a bit shell shocked. Kerry lost. I can't even say that Bush won. Kerry, while not my first choice for leader was unfortunately the only option we had to oust Bush. Why is it that people can't see how dangerous Bush is? Having grown up under apartheid I have seen how narow-minded, religious fanatics operate and it scares me. I can't say that I ever expected Kerry to win, but the truth is I was just hoping he would.

My mind hops around the mine-field of democracy and wonders if this is what it is all about??? What message are Americans sending to the rest of the world? Is this not just the green light for terrorist organizations to flaunt their power? As a parent I fear for my kids, I wonder if there will be a draft and if it is implimented will it be like Israel and affect girls as well?

The American army is spread too thin. Bush has not learned from the likes of Napolean or even Hitler (hmmm interesting company he would keep) I have told Josh in no uncertain terms that if there is a draft he better be prepared to pull up stakes and move. He would love to go live in South Africa. It is not an option for me. I did not go through what I did to one day have my kids leave me for a place where they can have opportunities.

I don't know where life is better, I just don't like what the crystal ball holds for the future - there are too many nut jobs out there and unfortunately there is one running this country.

Election Day takes Second Place :)

Josh used to be a very staunch Republican, very involved in politics, thus every election he was busy working for the political party setting up polling stations, managing candidates, etc. Then he met me, lucky for him my birthday is November 2nd (election day) and he had to give up all those activities or endure the evil eye for a good month after (no candidate was worth my evil eye :) Luckily he has joined the ranks of regular voter and every year we get to cancel eachothers votes out. His mom used to cancel him out and this year I called her to let her know that for the first time in over 20 years her vote actually counted as I was going to cancel Josh out :)

Growing up in a family where birthdays are not the high holy day like they are in the Eliasov household has taken some adjustment for Josh. I must say has been the source of many a good fight. This year he finally got the hint, ok we have only been married for 9 years, he is a man - what does one expect. He started my day with full fanfare, complete with two little princesses dressed in homemade crowns (they each made a crown for me as well), carrying handmade banners and gifts, singing Happy Birthday - it was so friggin' cute even at 6:00am. We then um'd and ah'd over all the goodies they had collected for me. They had decorated the kitchen with scooby-doo banners and while food at 6:30am is not something I stomach too well, a few bites of cereal was worth the look in their eyes.

Being Election Day there was no school and I ended up setting up a battallion of playdates to keep them occupied. Josh was going to take me to dinner but the kids were too wound up to eat in a restaurant and I wanted to include them in the celebration, so we ordered in and ate yummy birthday cake - it was a great birthday. Thanks sweetie.

Tomorrow I am going out with friends from the neighbourhood, Josh organized a luncheon at a very snazzy restaurant for us all. I am looking quite forward to it. When the man takes a hint, he sure takes a hint :)

I just wanted to thank everyone who e-mailed or called, it really meant the world to me. I think Birthdays and Yom Tov are the times that the distance between us all seems so much bigger.

Pumpkin Patch oh, oh, oh Pumpkin Patch

Saturday was a dreary day and my kids got their usual 6am start. By 9am they were going stir crazy. We threw on Jackets, loaded them in the car and headed for Schmitts Farm out on route 110 where we went on Hayrides and did pumpkin picking. People don't really pick pumpkins its more like choose a pumpkin. They have a huge field with a huge amount of pumpkins ranging in size from around 40lbs to 1lb. We told the girls that they could have whatever size pumpkin they wanted so long as they could carry it. So they start on the huge ones, can't budge it, and slowly work their way down to the one-to two-pounders. Ry examined each one carefully. From the corner of my eye, I see Nikki, the little peanut (all of 29 pounds) rolling the hugest pumkin ever. Josh and I were so impressed with her for working out that she could roll it instead of lifting it that we bought it for her, yup we bought her a 35 pound pumpkin!!!! We bought another huge one, headed home. Cleaned out the girls pumpkin, roasted the pumpkin seeds, scooped out the flesh of the pumpkin for pumpkin pie, and the girls drew Jack O'Lanterns which we carved. We had the fireplace roaring and it was just such a great picture book moment.

The second pumpkin became the stew pot, we attempted my mom's recipe for baked pumpkin where you cut up all the veggies, season, mix with rice and bake it inside the pumpkin for a few hours, it was really yummy. Although we will be eating pumpkin for the next 6 months it was loads of fun.