Happy Holidays!!!!

Just wanted to wish you all a happy holiday whatever you celebrate may it be the best it can. May you be surrounded by those you love and may the magic of those moments carry you through the next year.

We are leaving for Florida tomorrow, looking forward to some warm weather and family time. Hard to believe that Heid will be 40, we all seem like we are still kids - funny that we actually have our own broods. Can't wait for the cuzzies to get together and play and do what it is they do. Spend some time with my sister and J's dad and stepmom. Treasured moments in the making.

Another year gone by. Its been a draining year, by far not the hardest I have gone through. The emotional rollercoaster with Ryan pretty much finished us off. Thank G-d that is all taken care of and she is moving in the right direction and on a great path. The changes that this year have brought have been remarkable and honestly the support of my friends Andi, Dawn and Loren really helped me make it through it all. How grateful I am too you all. Thank you. A happy and a healthy to everyone.

Hermaphrodites????

We went to a neighbourhood party the other night and had to just tell you about the funniest comment I have ever heard.

Here's how the conversation went - the players .... me, my friend Lisa and her neighbour Lanie.
Lanie says: Do you want to go outside for a smoke?
Lisa, A little hesitant says: no
Lanie looks at me and says: Oh I am so sorry was it a secret?
Lisa shrugs and says: Oh no she's ok she's South African.
Lanie looks at me horrified and says: She's a Hermaphrodite?????
We were so hysterical, oh my word how we laughed. How the hell do you get hemaphrodite from South African. So it became the joke of the night - do you want some salt? what you're a hermaphrodite??? Do you want a brownie? No thanks not tonight we hermaphrodites never touch the stuff..... oh my word, Lanie will NEVER live that one down!!!!

My sister Heidi lives in Florida, she has two boys and they are the cutest (and besy behaved kids - I really adore and miss my nephews!!!)
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Joey
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Gary
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two cuties!!!!
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Pics of my nephews who live in Florida - Gary and Joey
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There are lots of new pics on my Ryan and Nikki link - this is from a party they attended today where they both had their hair done - oy vey I am in for trouble!!!!
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Exhausted.................

Been a rough week. Late nights at work, days without seeing the kids - work, holiday parties for work. Feel like the smile on my face has been frozen in place, a few more wrinkles to add to the list. Dragging. Not even a double esspresso could boost. Sleep is such a foreign concept, a severe lack in my life, leaving before the kids wake up and returning after they are in bed. Looking forward to our two week hiatus in Florida, spend some quality time with my sister as she rings in her 40th year, J's dad has a camp at his complex where the kids can be entertained in the morning and we can just recharge our batteries, spend quality time as a family and bring in the New Year with those I love and really don't get to spend enough time with!!!

Panic Attack.....

I am happy here. Yes for the most part I am. But every now and then the panic sets in, moments when I least expect it to, like in the middle of the night in the place between waking up and being asleep. It hits hard, its the reminder of home, a sound, a scent. Logically I know the place I yearn for no longer exists, its gone along with the mass emigration of those I love. But that viseral yearning that lights up deep within me appears when logic is not in its prime fighting mode, but rather subdued and sedated, before my morning caffeine kicks in. Before I am who I have become while I am still the girl, unencumbered by decisions made on the spur of the moment as a 23 year old kid, not quite knowing the enourmity and irreversibility of that decision. Before I can shake of the sadness for a time lost forever a time I long for that does not exist anymore and never will. This morning was one of those mornings - the yearning hung in the air like a fog for the remainder of the day, the grown woman yearning for her childhood home, curled up in a fetal position, living in a world that many years later is still so raw and I miss it.

Been feeling overwhelmed lately. I am a woman of lists and order. There has not been much order lately. I have spaced everything to do with the kids. I missed two PTA meetings for a committee I am working on - just spaced them completely!!!! I spaced Niki's parent teacher conference - just spaced!!! I got a call from a friend of mine as I was catching up on work from home, really pleased to have a bit of breathing space, still in my pj's plenty of time before my closing. My friend calls - its 8:45am where are you - I am home I reply ... you just called me!! Well hello you are meant to be at the school going on a classtrip in 5 minutes. Threw on clothes - they are lucky I brushed my teeth and I made it - shew - looked like crap, always good to make that kind of impression on the teacher. To top it all I did not send lunch in for Ryan as I have dinkum been getting home after 9pm everynight - no food in the house that can be transported and eaten cold and no energy to whip something up. Of course the teacher says, but I sent home a note saying we'll be missing the lunch period all together. Note, hah, who had time to read a friggin' note!!! So on the class trip I am calling the school, having a three way conversation with the cafeteria to try get the kid something to eat. Mission accomplished!!! Holy friggin' cow!! Just not coping.

Tuesday night at around 3am Nikki woke up sobbing, calling out for me. I ran to her, she held on tight, Mommy she says I haven't seen you in a long time. It had been two nights of late closings and they were asleep long before I got home. I held her tight and we talked softly and shnuggled in her bed. We lay for quite a while as she held on tight to me and I held her in my arms. We must have lay like that for an hour when I hear Ry dash for my room. Where is mommy she says to Josh, Josh fast asleep says - oh mommy's sleeping go back to bed. But Ry got hysterical - mommy's gone she says, I pry Nikki away gp to Ryan - bring her back to Nikki's bed and we all shnuggle until they can keep their eyes open no longer, carry them back to bed, tuck them in and collapse into my own. The morning comes too soon - off and running with a little less zip in my step and a lot more guilt on my head. Oh the joys of being a working mom...........

Sand Girl - wow some people are so creative!!!!http://illusionsetc.blogspot.com/
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Uncle Max died yesterday.......

Uncle Max is a friend of Josh's. Max has been a Freemason for over 80 years. He died yesterday at the age of 105. Having been born in 1900 he has seen so many changes in the world. He has never owned or driven a car having lived in Manhattan his whole life. He saw the invention of the radio, automobile, airplane, electricity and so many everyday neccessities we take for granted. He grew up in a fifth story walk up in a tenement building on the lower Eastside of Manhattan without indoor plumbing. He would tell us stories of having to go to the bathroom as a child in the outhouse in the snow with five stories to go down, without electricity. He talked about the farmlands in the 80's (from 80th street in Manhattan), he was a treasure to walk around the city with, he loathed to drive or take the subway, he liked to walk and he did every day. He walked the mile to Shul, he walked to work, partly because he could not part with the dollar 25 it took to get him there. He was a product of the depression being 29 when it hit, he never forgot the lessons he learned. He would point out where the speakeasy's used to be during prohibition and every street had a story.

My favourite Max story ever was when he was 70 years old he sold his accounting firm, a very successful business to two young guys. Part of his deal was that he would have an office and a secretary for as long as he wanted. The young guys looked at the old geezer and gave him a few more years. No problem they said and signed on the dotted line. Max stopped going to work when he was 102. He broke his hip at 99. They said he would never walk properly again, little did they know that 5 weeks later not only would he be walking but he refused to use a cane. His hip broke again at 102 and that was the end of him going to work but he had another 5 week recover before he walked by himself again. He had no hearing aid, no cane, no glasses and I have heard that his teeth were all his own. He loved greasy food, lived in Manhattan all his life, was known as one of the wild guys in his day. While one can't romanticize Max, he was a difficult chap. He married late in life to the love of his life, they were together for 56 years. They fought constantly but apparently you could just feel the passion between them. I never met Marion but he spoke of her with adoration up until the day he died. I bet they are together again laughing about the good old times and never, ever letting each other go.

Ten Minutes of fame.............

I think I am destined to have my fifteen minutes of fame. I have had many brushes with fame but have always side stepped it. The first was when I was a little girl and was chosen to be in the very first advert on South African TV. We only got TV in 1978. I contracted a case of the mumps and was unable to do it. That dashed that career. I always loved the theatre and think I would have loved to be on stage but never followed that path, always driven my my level headedness. When Josh and I lived in the city (Manhattan) I was busy rushing to get to work when the phone rang. A male voice asked if I were Yoko Ono's assistant. I said no he must have the wrong number. he apologized, hung up. A few minutes the phone rang again, a voice on the other side, introduced himself and said that he was calling from Canada and that I was being broadcast live on the air. He said they found it strange that I denied being Yoko's assistant when I had a british accent and this was the number they had to contact her. I corrected him by saying that he was wrong on both accounts as my accent was not british but South African and that this number was definitely not Yoko's regardless who had given it to him. It really took a lot of persuading and I have too say I was on the phone for a good 10 minutes denying that I even knew Yoko. I eventually had to put the phone down or I would have been late for work.

My latest brush was posted on my blog ............

I am the Casting Producer for Wife Swap on ABC. I somehow managed to end up on your blog! I was instantly intrigued, reading about thanksgiving, and the family! We are currently looking for an amazing family with huge personalities and character to star on the second season! If this is something you and your family might be interested in, please feel free to contact me on how to apply for the show today!Please do not post this on your website, i do not want my email address becoming public. This message is intended for you and your family only.

My response was....

Thank you for your comment on my blog. I am a complete fan of the show and watch it when I am able to. My blog is about as public as I get and I could not possibly think of being away from my kids for two weeks let alone having to be in someone elses home for that time while being taped for TV.

You had mentioned that you did not want your e-mail address listed on the blog, unfortunately you did that when you left the message. I can't seem to find a way to erase it and thought maybe you could retract it when you had a chance (if you are able to). Keep in mind that I am hardly a high traffic blog so chances are you will not be inundated with e-mails anyway. My blog is merely an online diary for me to document whats happening with us for my friends and family around the world and as a record for my kids when they are older, so I think your e-mail address will be safe there :)

His reply
Thank you for the Email explanation.
So I guess you're saying you are not interested.
Let me just breach this point.
We are looking for a very fabulous, big personality,high class family,
(possibly with live-in help) who is up for the experience of a lifetime!
Perhaps you know of anyone like that? Its just a shot in the dark.
The commitment is 10 days, and families involved receive
a $20,000 honorarium. Please let me know if you think of anyone,
and in the meantime, keep up the good work blogging.

http://abc.go.com/primetime/wifeswap/