Been feeling overwhelmed lately. I am a woman of lists and order. There has not been much order lately. I have spaced everything to do with the kids. I missed two PTA meetings for a committee I am working on - just spaced them completely!!!! I spaced Niki's parent teacher conference - just spaced!!! I got a call from a friend of mine as I was catching up on work from home, really pleased to have a bit of breathing space, still in my pj's plenty of time before my closing. My friend calls - its 8:45am where are you - I am home I reply ... you just called me!! Well hello you are meant to be at the school going on a classtrip in 5 minutes. Threw on clothes - they are lucky I brushed my teeth and I made it - shew - looked like crap, always good to make that kind of impression on the teacher. To top it all I did not send lunch in for Ryan as I have dinkum been getting home after 9pm everynight - no food in the house that can be transported and eaten cold and no energy to whip something up. Of course the teacher says, but I sent home a note saying we'll be missing the lunch period all together. Note, hah, who had time to read a friggin' note!!! So on the class trip I am calling the school, having a three way conversation with the cafeteria to try get the kid something to eat. Mission accomplished!!! Holy friggin' cow!! Just not coping.

Tuesday night at around 3am Nikki woke up sobbing, calling out for me. I ran to her, she held on tight, Mommy she says I haven't seen you in a long time. It had been two nights of late closings and they were asleep long before I got home. I held her tight and we talked softly and shnuggled in her bed. We lay for quite a while as she held on tight to me and I held her in my arms. We must have lay like that for an hour when I hear Ry dash for my room. Where is mommy she says to Josh, Josh fast asleep says - oh mommy's sleeping go back to bed. But Ry got hysterical - mommy's gone she says, I pry Nikki away gp to Ryan - bring her back to Nikki's bed and we all shnuggle until they can keep their eyes open no longer, carry them back to bed, tuck them in and collapse into my own. The morning comes too soon - off and running with a little less zip in my step and a lot more guilt on my head. Oh the joys of being a working mom...........