September 11th

Something seems to send the stars out of alignment at this time of year. Two years ago there was a blackout in New York, this year Katrina and the aftermath is just dumbfounding. I watch people living in the deepest part of despair and I am sad for all they have lost all that they feel and how much there is still to do. Before the tears of Katrina a storm of another kind occupied our thoughts, the Twin Towers, remembering where we were and how surreal that day was. The day America changed forever. The dust that hung over the city for months became a cloak across the nation, a suit of fear. An outfit we still wear today.

I remember the silence on that day. As I drove on the Long Island Expressway, the busiest road the USA, and I was the only car on the road. Eerie silence like waking in a dream of a ghost town. I watched in horror at my parents house as I saw the twin towers crumble and fall. Nikki an infant, Ryan barely 3. One of the kids in Ry's class, a big eyed boy with a beautiful smile, a minature version of his father, lost his dad that day. A stock broker at Cantor-Fitzgerald. At three he would never see the man he resembled. His mom heavily pregnant with the child her husband will never know. She a natural bird of a woman, became emaciated, could not eat. She pulled it together, taking her son to parties days after the horror, doing it all for him. I saw her a few months ago, I asked her how she was doing, wanting to really ask but did not want to subject her to so much more pain. Jake is now 7, in second grade. Its been two years since I saw them last. He looks a lot more like his dad. She, a remarkable woman, small but strong. Struggling with being a single mom she tells me some of what she has been going through. I often imagine in those rare times when I am dissatisfied with my life what her lot must be. Setting out for a life with the man you have chosen to be with. Not wanting the marriage to end but he is taken from you and you are left to take care of your kids alone. Those sleepless nights and the worry that follows. She is a very big prescence for a small woman.

I can't end a post without mentioning the bravery of folks like our friends Loren and Jeff, Jeff is a firefighter for the City of NY. He is a wonderful man and we feel fortunate to have them in our lives. Jeff's birthday is September 15th. Every year his birthday is overshadowed by all that happened that horrible day. He saw so much, being in the midst of all that horror. He lost many friends. How hard to celebrate ones own life when one is surrounded by the loss of so many others. Happy 40th Jeff. Hope you can find the time to acknowledge yourself.