Braveheart
Everyone has their own version of bravery. I have these two little girls who amaze me with theirs. Today Nikki decided that she no longer needed a floatation device to swim, ZERO swim lessons under her belt. She decided enough was enough. She aged my mom quite considerably, the poor woman watches the kids on Saturdays. Nikki stripped off her arm bands/swimmies and jumped into the pool without a backward glance - my speechless mother watched, mouth wide open as the kid just paddled along and managed to keep her head above water. I got a breathless call from a little voice declaring that she swam under the water and did not even drown. Shew how my heart swelled with pride and fear simultaneously. This is the same kid who at 15 months old decided she no longer needed diapers, swiftly removed it and has been without ever since - I think she is going to give me a run for my money one day.
The flipside of Nikki's non chalant bravery is Ryan. Every few weeks we venture to the city to see the dr., every few weeks another one of her culinary pleasures is limited and her homeopathic medications increased. Ryan is so brave, so strong willed, she amazes me in a way I never imagined possible. When she is told to do something she does it no matter what she is such a good girl. She declines candy and cake at parties she knows she is not allowed and does what she is meant to do. If I had her determination I would be a size two and running Microsoft, there is just nothing she cannot do when she has to. After the doctors visit, I tweaked her already bare diet, sobbed as I filled up her daily medication vials, divided into morning and evening doses, my heart breaking for my gentle little butterfly, so beautiful, so creative, so kind. Subjected to so much. How is it possible for the love I feel to grow and yet it does - it draws the breath out of me as my heart swells with pride at your bravery, your sweetness and all that makes you who you are, all the while I am pounded by a sadness for what you have to endure and know this is right for you. Wish I could burden it for you, knowing that even I could not burden it as well as you. How proud I am of you, how sad for all you have to go through my little Braveheart.
The flipside of Nikki's non chalant bravery is Ryan. Every few weeks we venture to the city to see the dr., every few weeks another one of her culinary pleasures is limited and her homeopathic medications increased. Ryan is so brave, so strong willed, she amazes me in a way I never imagined possible. When she is told to do something she does it no matter what she is such a good girl. She declines candy and cake at parties she knows she is not allowed and does what she is meant to do. If I had her determination I would be a size two and running Microsoft, there is just nothing she cannot do when she has to. After the doctors visit, I tweaked her already bare diet, sobbed as I filled up her daily medication vials, divided into morning and evening doses, my heart breaking for my gentle little butterfly, so beautiful, so creative, so kind. Subjected to so much. How is it possible for the love I feel to grow and yet it does - it draws the breath out of me as my heart swells with pride at your bravery, your sweetness and all that makes you who you are, all the while I am pounded by a sadness for what you have to endure and know this is right for you. Wish I could burden it for you, knowing that even I could not burden it as well as you. How proud I am of you, how sad for all you have to go through my little Braveheart.
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