Blizzard abounds......
Boy talk about snow - 24 inches of it!!! Visions of my kids playing outside and just seeing the tops of their hats as they weave through the huge mounds of soft white ice. A soft serve ice cream witha cherry on top. So much for the image of sledriding, snowball fights and building the meanest, biggest and baddest snowman known to humankind. Instead we sat indoors, the fireplace roaring, drinking warm drinks, lying on the sofa and watched the snow drift down from the sky. It is so magical. No cars drove past, the world is white and oh so fluffy. I love the snow, I have not become jaded, not even after 12 years of it. Josh has spoiled me rotten, after he and I put the kids to bed, we got into our two person jacuzzi tub, which has a skylight and big windows, we pulled back the drapes, and watched the snow fall down in the darkness, did not want to scare my neighbours by the sight of us, naked in the tub. It was magical, listening to music, feeling the steamy water envelop your body as you drift into a place of complete peace.
That tub has helped cement our marriage, those seemingly endless days when the kids were small, between them they had two well weeks in Nikki's first year of life. We were so sleep deprived, our one refuge, the one place we could just connect, was in the jacuzzi, candles lit, music playing and the stress just melted all away, we would crawl out, get into bed, have the luxury of having eachother and drift off to sleep the minute our heads touched the pillows. It seems like a million years ago and then it seems like yesterday.
We are at the stage where life is easy, both kids are self sufficient, to a degree. I love my work, we have live-in help Monday through Friday, we actually get to sleep through the night, and function. There is a part of me that looks at my baby, my little Nikki, she has grown so fast, today she told me to get inside a hurry and come and watch the Rincess (Princess) video with her. She is 4. No longer a baby. I miss having a baby. I miss the little bodies and the orgasmic look on their face as they suck on a pacifier or drink their milk. How they cuddle and feel so divine. I go through short-lived phases of desperately wanting another child. Three is a hard number, but being one of three, I value my sisters and love that I have have them to lean back on. Sisterhood has been a long, hard but satisfying road. I feel the more siblings the kids have the better chance they have of finding someone who "gets" them. On a selfish note, I feel done out of the baby stage, having kids 21 months apart, I never got to truly enjoy each one of them together. The first child is so intimidating, by the time the second comes along, you have worked out the kinks but are so wrapped up in the older ones life you can't take time to enjoy the journey with the second one. I feel like I want a baby just for me - Nikki will be in Kindergarten starting September. Ryan second grade. They are so grown up. So self sufficient - where have my babies gone? Boy how did I go from blizzards to babies, guess I am too unstable to have any more kids :)
That tub has helped cement our marriage, those seemingly endless days when the kids were small, between them they had two well weeks in Nikki's first year of life. We were so sleep deprived, our one refuge, the one place we could just connect, was in the jacuzzi, candles lit, music playing and the stress just melted all away, we would crawl out, get into bed, have the luxury of having eachother and drift off to sleep the minute our heads touched the pillows. It seems like a million years ago and then it seems like yesterday.
We are at the stage where life is easy, both kids are self sufficient, to a degree. I love my work, we have live-in help Monday through Friday, we actually get to sleep through the night, and function. There is a part of me that looks at my baby, my little Nikki, she has grown so fast, today she told me to get inside a hurry and come and watch the Rincess (Princess) video with her. She is 4. No longer a baby. I miss having a baby. I miss the little bodies and the orgasmic look on their face as they suck on a pacifier or drink their milk. How they cuddle and feel so divine. I go through short-lived phases of desperately wanting another child. Three is a hard number, but being one of three, I value my sisters and love that I have have them to lean back on. Sisterhood has been a long, hard but satisfying road. I feel the more siblings the kids have the better chance they have of finding someone who "gets" them. On a selfish note, I feel done out of the baby stage, having kids 21 months apart, I never got to truly enjoy each one of them together. The first child is so intimidating, by the time the second comes along, you have worked out the kinks but are so wrapped up in the older ones life you can't take time to enjoy the journey with the second one. I feel like I want a baby just for me - Nikki will be in Kindergarten starting September. Ryan second grade. They are so grown up. So self sufficient - where have my babies gone? Boy how did I go from blizzards to babies, guess I am too unstable to have any more kids :)
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