The other illusions

All this talk of optical illusions is making me wonder about the optical illusions in my own life, the things that I see and feel that either are or are not there. The times I get so annoyed with Josh, usually when I am PMS :) or the time I spend on the computer trying to decompress and not being with my kids. Sometimes losing sight of the wonder of the world and hearing about it through the eyes of my kids. Last week Nikki's teacher discussed respect with the kids and I have to say this squeeky little voice re-enacted all the scenarios that were presented to her. I am not sure what her perception of respecting her elders was but I think she envisions "old" people as people who are so far gone they are unable to do anything for themselves. Josh and I were hysterical as she showed us how she would give up her seat on a bus for an old person, we had to pretend to be the old person and she tripped us up in the process, I pity the poor old person on the receiving end of her particular brand of thoughtfulness. How delicious and divine.

This weekend I am going to watch Ryan do horseriding for the first time. I have had glowing reports from both her instructor and Josh, her class conflicts with Nikki's dance class and I am not ready to give up my one on one time with Loren (her daughter Cami is in the same class). We huck through dance and then head out to the best pizza place nearby - the yummiest thin crust pizza, her family calls it ten-light pizza as it used to be 10 lights (robots) from her house. We have all adopted the name and no matter how you say it the food is just yummy. I think it is also great that Josh gets to spend some one on one time with Ryan, she adores her daddy and I think it has been good for her to be able to shine in her own arena with his full undivided attention.

I had started this post talking about illusions and I have to say I am not one to live a dellusional life and tend to look for the truth in everything. My favourite line was in a fortune cookie that I read when I went out for lunch with my folks and Ninnette before she went back to SA, my fortune told me to (and I paraphrase) be more direct and honest. I think if I was MORE direct or honest people would actually shoot me like a lame horse. I have to work so hard to curtail my mouth and my honesty lest it wounds all those in its radius. I think the problem is sometimes I just get caught up in life and forget to just be, just sit on the swing on our deck and watch the leaves change colour or recognize the beauty in everyday life. When I forget to do that its amazing how quickly the world loses its rainbow and I get so stressed out and everything seems gray.

This past week was one of those weeks and I just could not seem to shake the gray cloud. Fortunately my husband or one of my good friends can bring it out of me. Today that honor went to my friend Deb, Deb is my neighbor at the end of the block who has a daughter who is the same age as NIkki and is in Nikki's class. Alexandra is a remarkable kid she is full of sunshine and is so warm, loving and sensitive to the people in the world. I love that her and Nikki have connected in a big way. I have to say Nikki has a knack (does that make it a Nik Nack??) for picking great friends and the friends have great parents. Today was gymnastics day and Deb and I sat with huge cups of Dunkin' Donuts coffee, just connecting and chatting while the kids did their super star gymnastics stuff. Deb is a smart, vibrant woman with a contagious energy, I come away from my time with her feeling energized and enthusiastic. Today it was the tonic I needed and I feel so much more intune with life as a result.