Ryan and the sad day

I am sad. Devastated really. One can rationalize just about anything, I am the queen of rational thought. But the reality can sometimes crush you, literally. Today was the end of the year party at Ryan's school, now you all know about her dietary restrictions, logically .... no soy, no dairy, no sugar, no vinegar, no juice. the reality
No Soy.
No Dairy.
No Sugar.
No juice.
They had a pizza and ice cream party
Heartbroken, brave little sad face said no to all of the above.
She was so brave and felt so bad and it just tore through me, I wanted to heap her plate with everything and feed her like I did when she was a baby. I just held her and told her how brave she is and how proud I am of her, all the while my heart just shattered. She watched as her classmates, the whole grade, loaded on their ice cream sundaes and I was powerless, she was not allowed out of the cafeteria and I could not make it ok for my baby. My big girl, my baby, my heart, my soul. I wanted to cry, not just over a bowl of icecream but because of all the bowls she has had to watch this year, all those lost cupcakes, all those moments of being a kid and living in the moment. All those times of eating without worrying about fitting into your jeans. All those times and all the times to follow.
Give me your pain little face, let me shoulder it, if you can't pass all of it to me - let me shoulder as much as I can. You see she puts on a brave face and everyone thinks she is ok, but I know the truth I see in her eyes all her emotions and I know a piece of her is destroyed everytime. Being almost seven is hard. Being seven and so different is so much harder.
I love you my little Ry,
My precious butterfly.
I am so proud of you.
So sad for you.