Clear and present.................

Happy Holidays to one and all. Hope you had a wonderful time filled with love, family, friends and all the good food that goes with it! Its funny since my trip to South Africa, I have not been a great blogger or e-mailer, I used to be fanatical, checking my blog most days, e-mail sometimes twice a day. In South Africa I survived without e-mail and blogs. I connected with myself, my kids and my friends there. Once back on American soil, I no longer craved the ding of my in box, no longer needed the cyber connection that kept me whole for so long. Its not that I don't want to know whats happening with my online pals or those I love around the world, I do. I just made an unconscious choice to be more present in my day to day life. It is rare for my kids to see me online when they are home, they spend more time on the computer then I do. I often don't check my e-mail for days, sometimes weeks. My days are spent at work or connection with Deb or my friends in the neighbourhood when the kids are at scholl and I am work-free. Its all good. Last year was not a great year financially but I still feel rich for the milestones we have passed for how far Josh has come as a person. For all we have done and all we strive to do. I am grateful to have people in my life that I need, most of them too far to have a cup of coffee and a laugh with, and I do crave your news and your company but I have had to come to terms with the fact that we will never live around the corner from eachother, our lives are worlds apart, our bonds are great and will tie us together for as long as we live. I think going back to SA and picking up those long-term friendships from where we left off just solidified what I guess I never really admitted to myself, those we love, never leave us, we just carry them in our hearts until we meet again. Sometimes in cyberspace, sometimes on the phone, hopefully soon in the flesh. How grateful am I to all those of you out there who make me feel like I matter. Happy New Year to you all, forgive my cyber absense I am off living the life I have chosen and my world wide web does not have legs yet.