New beginings.........
Having a rather surreal experience being back in NY after my South Africa jaunt. I have to say it is weird being so peaceful. Work exploded, the end of the month is really a busy time for me and I just floated along the wave. Its not like that zone out, stoned peace but its just an inner feeling that has eluded me for the longest time. How great a gift to leave the burden of my beautiful past behind and start living in the moment, creating memories for this chapter in the book of my life.
In the begining of the year I had let my friendship with L go, it was hard to do, she was not in a space where we could be friends, it was too hard for her to bear. I know my stand in your truth attitude is hard for some to bear and when you reach that level of intimacy as friends where you get to delve into one anothers souls, its hard to step back and just scratch the surface. L needed to go through so much and I could not help her and did not really want to, I had too much on my plate before I left for South Africa. Her last tearful call to me before I left about how much she did not want to lose my friendship was hard for me because I had been so hurt by her and I also had to hold myself from jumping right in to apply a bandaid, she needed to bottom out and make her life whole. I told her that I would call her when I returned from SA. Which I did and it was great to chat with her. We ended up going to a mutual friends house on the Sunday and I must say I was so relieved to see her, to see her back from where she was and back to who she is. It is hard to watch someone you care about be in pain but yet instinctively you know its what will make them whole and that is all that you can wish for them.
We spent the entire day absorbed in one another, chatting furiously, catching up on the time we have lost and reconnecting, it was great to both be on the same page, to be on the same path again. Friends, next to family are the mainstay of what keeps me whole. I need that intense human connection, that ability to delve into what makes us who we are and to enjoy the journey with people on similar path. I feel so lucky to have a network of like minded souls, many on the blog, e-mails, phone and some in person. Those are my diamonds, my pearls, the jewels of my life.
Deb and I snuck out of our house on Tuesday night, we went to borders for Cappucino's, chat and chuckles. We had a great night, bought a few books and then called it a night.
Wednesday was Josh's birthday, his mom came over for dinner and we had the yummiest carvel cake for dessert. He is feeling older, I guess its hard to be creeping closer to 50 when you feel 20.
Thursday night I played cards with some friends in the neighbourhood. It was a nice impromptu game and we had a great time. Friday my sister Heid, and my nephews, Gary and Joey arrived. We had a great Shabbat dinner at my folks. Gary came for a sleepover. Saturday my mom juggled all 4 kids while Heid and I went out for a day of shopping, she is heading to South Africa and needed a lot of last minute things.
Gary had another sleepover and our short visit comes to an end, the kids are downstairs with their cuzzie enjoying their last few minutes together before we head on out.
In the begining of the year I had let my friendship with L go, it was hard to do, she was not in a space where we could be friends, it was too hard for her to bear. I know my stand in your truth attitude is hard for some to bear and when you reach that level of intimacy as friends where you get to delve into one anothers souls, its hard to step back and just scratch the surface. L needed to go through so much and I could not help her and did not really want to, I had too much on my plate before I left for South Africa. Her last tearful call to me before I left about how much she did not want to lose my friendship was hard for me because I had been so hurt by her and I also had to hold myself from jumping right in to apply a bandaid, she needed to bottom out and make her life whole. I told her that I would call her when I returned from SA. Which I did and it was great to chat with her. We ended up going to a mutual friends house on the Sunday and I must say I was so relieved to see her, to see her back from where she was and back to who she is. It is hard to watch someone you care about be in pain but yet instinctively you know its what will make them whole and that is all that you can wish for them.
We spent the entire day absorbed in one another, chatting furiously, catching up on the time we have lost and reconnecting, it was great to both be on the same page, to be on the same path again. Friends, next to family are the mainstay of what keeps me whole. I need that intense human connection, that ability to delve into what makes us who we are and to enjoy the journey with people on similar path. I feel so lucky to have a network of like minded souls, many on the blog, e-mails, phone and some in person. Those are my diamonds, my pearls, the jewels of my life.
Deb and I snuck out of our house on Tuesday night, we went to borders for Cappucino's, chat and chuckles. We had a great night, bought a few books and then called it a night.
Wednesday was Josh's birthday, his mom came over for dinner and we had the yummiest carvel cake for dessert. He is feeling older, I guess its hard to be creeping closer to 50 when you feel 20.
Thursday night I played cards with some friends in the neighbourhood. It was a nice impromptu game and we had a great time. Friday my sister Heid, and my nephews, Gary and Joey arrived. We had a great Shabbat dinner at my folks. Gary came for a sleepover. Saturday my mom juggled all 4 kids while Heid and I went out for a day of shopping, she is heading to South Africa and needed a lot of last minute things.
Gary had another sleepover and our short visit comes to an end, the kids are downstairs with their cuzzie enjoying their last few minutes together before we head on out.
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