I may be 20 pounds heavier but I lost my luggage - that must count for something!!!
Its been surreal being home. Yes it is home. It took me going back to South Africa to realize that this trip is it, the one that I say goodbye. My heart is still there and my soul still beats to the sounds of a cowhide drum, but my life is definitely in NY. It is home. 13 years after first leaving SA I can now look at the life I lead and be so grateful for all that I have. Its funny before I left I considered my house a bit of a wreck, Josh was pissing me off and I was spinning so fast trying to get this trip off the ground that I could barely stand. I kept on spinning through my 6 weeks in South Africa and I am back with a renewed sense of peace. My house is a castle and Josh the prince who resides in it with me. I feel grateful to have had 6 weeks to bond with my kids and we have in a way that is hard to describe. Its a warm fuzzy place where we hold hands and giggle. I never used to be able to take the time to do that.
This past week was so manic, I really do live at frenetic life. I came home late every night, one night because of work and then I had Mah Jongg, the next because of work and the next because I had a ladies night out at Bang restaurant with Debie and Lisa, followed by a late night hanging out for Shabbat dinner at my folks house.
Its funny when I was in South Africa I was telling Andi how I now knew I would never live in South Africa again and how I was not sure if I would even visit again. She asked me if that made me sad, I told her no, I spent 10 years mourning for a place that no longer exists there is a certain relief in finally being ok with where I am.
Its good to be at peace. At last.
Its funny because I am emmitting some strange vibes because wherever I go strangers are coming up to me and starting indepth conversations in a way they never have before, even my snobbish neighbours have made a point of going out of their way to greet me. Odd stuff.
While I was away Josh painted the kitchen for me and it looks so fabulous I just love sitting in it, its so tranquil.
I am so grateful to the powers that be for letting me be open enough to finally see what was there all along. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by my family, friends and the love of those who don't live nearby but I carry them in my heart wherever I go.
This past week was so manic, I really do live at frenetic life. I came home late every night, one night because of work and then I had Mah Jongg, the next because of work and the next because I had a ladies night out at Bang restaurant with Debie and Lisa, followed by a late night hanging out for Shabbat dinner at my folks house.
Its funny when I was in South Africa I was telling Andi how I now knew I would never live in South Africa again and how I was not sure if I would even visit again. She asked me if that made me sad, I told her no, I spent 10 years mourning for a place that no longer exists there is a certain relief in finally being ok with where I am.
Its good to be at peace. At last.
Its funny because I am emmitting some strange vibes because wherever I go strangers are coming up to me and starting indepth conversations in a way they never have before, even my snobbish neighbours have made a point of going out of their way to greet me. Odd stuff.
While I was away Josh painted the kitchen for me and it looks so fabulous I just love sitting in it, its so tranquil.
I am so grateful to the powers that be for letting me be open enough to finally see what was there all along. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by my family, friends and the love of those who don't live nearby but I carry them in my heart wherever I go.
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