Regrets
There are moments in time that define who I am, reminiscent in a scent or a thought. As I trapse down memory lane. A decision so rash, a careless word, drawn to the teeth like a razor sharp sword.
I feel in my heart emotions so deep, they rise through me, out my skin they seem to seep.
Yet I turn a blind eye to all that goes on as I focus on the life that I lead,
I rise to the challenge like a knight on a steed.
Onward and upward I hear the lone ranger,
Occassionally I introduce myself to the thought in my soul and it it seems like a stranger.
Its hard and cruel and fraught full of danger.
But when I face my inner foes I am stronger I know,
Upward and onward I then can go.
I feel like I am running against the clock that is my time, there never seems to be a moment to slow down. The needs of a family are so vast it sometimes amazes me how I filled my days before I was married and it was just me. My friends. My family. My career. Where did I waste so many hours in so many days? I stand on the endge of my life and marvel at all that flies up in the air and can't believe the tight rope trapeze act that keeps it all there. I have just returned from Florida but must confess it was certainly no vacation. It is a magical place that captures ones soul and I must say that up until recently I would have moved there in a flash. Luckily I have turned a corner and have learned to enjoy NY and the life that I lead -its hectic and fast paced and leaves me out of breath but I love the challenges, the work that I do. The friends I have created and the opportunity to explore if I chose to take it. I spent a lot of time at war with this city that is now my home, it is a tough opponent but we have created a truce that works for both of us and I am so grateful. I get to love the Big Apple and take a little nibble out of it when the feeling calls, I love what it offers yet love being away from it all.
I am back with a vengance and a very full plate, I'll dip my apple in honey twice this time around as I wade through the next few days after my week in the sun. I have no tan to prove I was there just the photos of the times that we share. I miss my family I leave everytime and know that we will be united soon. I grieve for the moments I miss every day, my sweet little Joey is growing bigger each day and Gary no longer a baby but a real boy, I feel like I've turned around and they have grown, such sweet little creatures who live so far from us here, so divine, so sweet and so dear. I can't believe that sands of time have moved so quickly I have missed out on so much and am saddned to leave. I hope you can see how sacred our times together have been, the bonding of cousins and siblings too. Family that double edged sword that you referred to Jen, how right you are. I would take my chances, a knife thrower at best, I would welcome the wounds to have them all near by so we could have real ferribles instead of just watching the time fly by.
I feel in my heart emotions so deep, they rise through me, out my skin they seem to seep.
Yet I turn a blind eye to all that goes on as I focus on the life that I lead,
I rise to the challenge like a knight on a steed.
Onward and upward I hear the lone ranger,
Occassionally I introduce myself to the thought in my soul and it it seems like a stranger.
Its hard and cruel and fraught full of danger.
But when I face my inner foes I am stronger I know,
Upward and onward I then can go.
I feel like I am running against the clock that is my time, there never seems to be a moment to slow down. The needs of a family are so vast it sometimes amazes me how I filled my days before I was married and it was just me. My friends. My family. My career. Where did I waste so many hours in so many days? I stand on the endge of my life and marvel at all that flies up in the air and can't believe the tight rope trapeze act that keeps it all there. I have just returned from Florida but must confess it was certainly no vacation. It is a magical place that captures ones soul and I must say that up until recently I would have moved there in a flash. Luckily I have turned a corner and have learned to enjoy NY and the life that I lead -its hectic and fast paced and leaves me out of breath but I love the challenges, the work that I do. The friends I have created and the opportunity to explore if I chose to take it. I spent a lot of time at war with this city that is now my home, it is a tough opponent but we have created a truce that works for both of us and I am so grateful. I get to love the Big Apple and take a little nibble out of it when the feeling calls, I love what it offers yet love being away from it all.
I am back with a vengance and a very full plate, I'll dip my apple in honey twice this time around as I wade through the next few days after my week in the sun. I have no tan to prove I was there just the photos of the times that we share. I miss my family I leave everytime and know that we will be united soon. I grieve for the moments I miss every day, my sweet little Joey is growing bigger each day and Gary no longer a baby but a real boy, I feel like I've turned around and they have grown, such sweet little creatures who live so far from us here, so divine, so sweet and so dear. I can't believe that sands of time have moved so quickly I have missed out on so much and am saddned to leave. I hope you can see how sacred our times together have been, the bonding of cousins and siblings too. Family that double edged sword that you referred to Jen, how right you are. I would take my chances, a knife thrower at best, I would welcome the wounds to have them all near by so we could have real ferribles instead of just watching the time fly by.
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