Only in South Africa
I feel very fortunate to be a South African. Things we take for granted, events that are so common place in our lives are so extraordinry in the part of New York where I live. The kindness of strangers is so much a part of everyday living that South Africans take it for granted. My dad is still in South Africa, he had to stay behind while my mom came back to be with her eldest baby :) Last week he was taken to hospital with some complications relating to his prostrate cancer treatment 6 years ago. Luckily the cancer is a thing of the past but he has some health issues that may follow him forever.
Families being torn apart is part of our lives and it is so sad and unfortunate, I am in a rare and most fortunate position as my folks made a huge sacrafice and chose to be near us (well near the grandchildren) for most of the year. Financial, emotionally and spiritually it has been so incredibly hard and I am forever grateful to them for it. It is so hard when someone is not well and you are far away from them, even harder when that person is all by themselves and many miles away.
What makes this time even harder is that today is my dads birthday, and not only is he feeling lousy but he is all alone. Birthdays in my family are a huge event with relatives fighting to be the first to phone to wish you a happy Birthday. He is all alone, uncomfortable, not feeling great, housebound until Monday - this would make me sad on any occassion but even worse as today should be a day to celebrate. Fortunately he is alone in South Africa because when you are alone there you are not alone. I called one of the restaurants near where he lives, the owners don't know me or him for that matter from a bar of soap. I told the woman how it was my dad's birthday and how I wanted him to have a special meal as there is no-one there to be with him (he lives about 45 minutes outside of Johannesburg), this restaurant is the best in the area and does not make deliveries. The owner has put together a special menu of his favourite foods and is driving it to him personally at 6pm on a Friday Night - one of the busiest nights of the week in her restaurant. I was so touched and sadned at the same time. I must just add that he is by himself by choice, he has been flooded with a million invitations but is not feeling up to being with anyone, my co-conspiritors in organizing this surprise had offered to take him food for his birthday but I was very specific in what I wanted him to have.
That is one of the reasons I want to pack my kids up and move back, they will never know what it means to be kind to others for no reason other then it is the right thing to do. Here is a woman who does not know me, chances are will never meet me and will go out of her way to make someone else's day so special. It is so ingrained in us as South Africans and so much a part of what I want to teach my kids.
Many of you know how tough my immigration experience has been and one of the hardest has been connecting with people in my neighbourhood. There is a group of woman who live here who have kids the same age as Nikki, one lives next door and the other across the street. They are very clicky and move as a herd, whatever one does everyone else has to do it to. We have had very few playdates and the only time the kids interact is after school when the weather is good and they are all outside playing together. I am on a PTA committee with one of the women who lives next door. She mentioned to me at a meeting, that the woman who lives across the street had hurt her back and had been bedridden for 5 weeks. I felt so bad, firstly not knowing and secondly that she has kids of similar ages to me and I would have helped out. Anyway I called her, she happens to be a really nice woman just a part of this click and we have never really developed a friendship. She was telling me how hard it was being laid up in bed for so long and how one of the hardest parts was not having any homecooked meals, her family had been living on takeouts for close to 6 weeks. I was absolutely horrified, here is this group of good friends and not ONE of them had dropped off a home cooked meal to the family, one of these good friends lives ACROSS the street and cooks for her own family almost every night.
I stopped at the supermarket - bought a whole lot of stuff, spent a few hours in the kitchen and cooked different meals for her family. She was so touched, so grateful, her mom who was helping her was so appreciative (even her own mother did not cook for her), and I said to them, this is really not a big deal, maybe for you in America but for South Africans this is what we do. They said to me it sounds like a very special place, I said to them that they had no idea just how special. What time does the plane leave???
Families being torn apart is part of our lives and it is so sad and unfortunate, I am in a rare and most fortunate position as my folks made a huge sacrafice and chose to be near us (well near the grandchildren) for most of the year. Financial, emotionally and spiritually it has been so incredibly hard and I am forever grateful to them for it. It is so hard when someone is not well and you are far away from them, even harder when that person is all by themselves and many miles away.
What makes this time even harder is that today is my dads birthday, and not only is he feeling lousy but he is all alone. Birthdays in my family are a huge event with relatives fighting to be the first to phone to wish you a happy Birthday. He is all alone, uncomfortable, not feeling great, housebound until Monday - this would make me sad on any occassion but even worse as today should be a day to celebrate. Fortunately he is alone in South Africa because when you are alone there you are not alone. I called one of the restaurants near where he lives, the owners don't know me or him for that matter from a bar of soap. I told the woman how it was my dad's birthday and how I wanted him to have a special meal as there is no-one there to be with him (he lives about 45 minutes outside of Johannesburg), this restaurant is the best in the area and does not make deliveries. The owner has put together a special menu of his favourite foods and is driving it to him personally at 6pm on a Friday Night - one of the busiest nights of the week in her restaurant. I was so touched and sadned at the same time. I must just add that he is by himself by choice, he has been flooded with a million invitations but is not feeling up to being with anyone, my co-conspiritors in organizing this surprise had offered to take him food for his birthday but I was very specific in what I wanted him to have.
That is one of the reasons I want to pack my kids up and move back, they will never know what it means to be kind to others for no reason other then it is the right thing to do. Here is a woman who does not know me, chances are will never meet me and will go out of her way to make someone else's day so special. It is so ingrained in us as South Africans and so much a part of what I want to teach my kids.
Many of you know how tough my immigration experience has been and one of the hardest has been connecting with people in my neighbourhood. There is a group of woman who live here who have kids the same age as Nikki, one lives next door and the other across the street. They are very clicky and move as a herd, whatever one does everyone else has to do it to. We have had very few playdates and the only time the kids interact is after school when the weather is good and they are all outside playing together. I am on a PTA committee with one of the women who lives next door. She mentioned to me at a meeting, that the woman who lives across the street had hurt her back and had been bedridden for 5 weeks. I felt so bad, firstly not knowing and secondly that she has kids of similar ages to me and I would have helped out. Anyway I called her, she happens to be a really nice woman just a part of this click and we have never really developed a friendship. She was telling me how hard it was being laid up in bed for so long and how one of the hardest parts was not having any homecooked meals, her family had been living on takeouts for close to 6 weeks. I was absolutely horrified, here is this group of good friends and not ONE of them had dropped off a home cooked meal to the family, one of these good friends lives ACROSS the street and cooks for her own family almost every night.
I stopped at the supermarket - bought a whole lot of stuff, spent a few hours in the kitchen and cooked different meals for her family. She was so touched, so grateful, her mom who was helping her was so appreciative (even her own mother did not cook for her), and I said to them, this is really not a big deal, maybe for you in America but for South Africans this is what we do. They said to me it sounds like a very special place, I said to them that they had no idea just how special. What time does the plane leave???
posted by 
<< Home