THE Talk...............
Its funny we are sometimes presented with opportunities to discuss major issues with our kids, I feel it is so necessary to take that opportunity and run with it. Last week there was a story on the news about an 11 year old girl in England who is pregnant and is about to be awarded the title of youngest mother in Great Britain - sheesh thats one award I never want in my household. I guess it will be up on the mantle along with the youngest junkie or most insecure or the person who can chainsmoke the most amount of cigarettes in an hour. Call me crazy but my kids soccer and gymnastics trophies will suffice for me.
The only real good that comes out of topics like that is the talks that follow. I never usually allow the kids in my room when the news is on, I find the topics so traumatic and there is no need to expose them to it just yet, as fate would have it Ry happened to come be with me while that particular story was on. She asked me an assortment of questions on the topic and I siezed the opportunity to tell them about respecting their bodies and wait until they finish high school until they have sex. We discussed how babies are made. How one day it will feel good to have a penis in your vagina but how its not appropriate until you are older. How when they do decide that is what they want to do there are ways to prevent having a baby and we will dicuss it at the time. How if they ended up with a baby in their bellies it would change their lives forever. Nikki says, oh mom it would be ok you would look after my baby. I shook my head and said No, niks, the baby would be yours, it would be your responsibility. She says well what about school. I said you would have to study from home and look after your child. I would love you no matter what happens but when you make choices good or bad you have to live with the consequences. I said to her, how every day you have to make choices, good ones or bad ones. Bouncing the ball in the house was an example of a bad decision which sparked a fiery debate how angry they were with me about the ball. I told them how they made the choice to bounce it in the house and the only person they could be angry with is themselves. I kept up my end of the bargain they failed on theirs. We talked about how the choices they make can change their lives forever, how one of the greatest things that can ever happen to them is having a baby but they have to have it when they are old enough to take care of it or it would turn out to be a bad thing.
Its funny but the experts say to start talking to your kids about these topics as early as possible. I feel 5 and 7 is way too early to discuss sex but the truth and the reality of life is kids are having babies much younger. There are reports of Barmitzvah boys who get blow jobs for their barmitzvahs. (Josh feels considerably shortchanged as all he got were a few gifts and a bit of cash). These are 12 or 13 year old kids. We live in a soceity where our president got up and said that oral sex was not sex. We live in a soceity where kids are not taught respect for their elders let alone for themselves. I can't change soceity but I can certainly direct my kids as best I can. We do reiterate how no matter what they do they are loved, right or wrong they know they are loved. They know that even when I am angry I love them. I can't even begin to tell you how powerful a talk it was and how moved we were by it how I feel like it got a strong message across. The seed is planted. All from a bouncing ball and a pregnant pre-teen.
The only real good that comes out of topics like that is the talks that follow. I never usually allow the kids in my room when the news is on, I find the topics so traumatic and there is no need to expose them to it just yet, as fate would have it Ry happened to come be with me while that particular story was on. She asked me an assortment of questions on the topic and I siezed the opportunity to tell them about respecting their bodies and wait until they finish high school until they have sex. We discussed how babies are made. How one day it will feel good to have a penis in your vagina but how its not appropriate until you are older. How when they do decide that is what they want to do there are ways to prevent having a baby and we will dicuss it at the time. How if they ended up with a baby in their bellies it would change their lives forever. Nikki says, oh mom it would be ok you would look after my baby. I shook my head and said No, niks, the baby would be yours, it would be your responsibility. She says well what about school. I said you would have to study from home and look after your child. I would love you no matter what happens but when you make choices good or bad you have to live with the consequences. I said to her, how every day you have to make choices, good ones or bad ones. Bouncing the ball in the house was an example of a bad decision which sparked a fiery debate how angry they were with me about the ball. I told them how they made the choice to bounce it in the house and the only person they could be angry with is themselves. I kept up my end of the bargain they failed on theirs. We talked about how the choices they make can change their lives forever, how one of the greatest things that can ever happen to them is having a baby but they have to have it when they are old enough to take care of it or it would turn out to be a bad thing.
Its funny but the experts say to start talking to your kids about these topics as early as possible. I feel 5 and 7 is way too early to discuss sex but the truth and the reality of life is kids are having babies much younger. There are reports of Barmitzvah boys who get blow jobs for their barmitzvahs. (Josh feels considerably shortchanged as all he got were a few gifts and a bit of cash). These are 12 or 13 year old kids. We live in a soceity where our president got up and said that oral sex was not sex. We live in a soceity where kids are not taught respect for their elders let alone for themselves. I can't change soceity but I can certainly direct my kids as best I can. We do reiterate how no matter what they do they are loved, right or wrong they know they are loved. They know that even when I am angry I love them. I can't even begin to tell you how powerful a talk it was and how moved we were by it how I feel like it got a strong message across. The seed is planted. All from a bouncing ball and a pregnant pre-teen.
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