Brotter_Blogger

A South African, married to an American, finally adapting to my adopted country. I love life, laughter, good friends and the warmth that my two kids have filled me with. I glory in the colors of my life and am grateful for the gray days as they allow me to appreciate the rainbows.

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Location: New York, United States

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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Mean Mommy........

"Mom", Nikki asked me the other day, "why are you so nice to everyone and mean to us?" "Nikki my love", my response was "my job is to be mean to you. My job is to love you, to teach you, to nurture you and I am not your friend, I am your teacher, I am the voice in the back of your head that tells you how to cross the street, that will hopefully keep you from dangerous situations".

I have two kids shouting in their rooms at me, telling me how I am ruining their lives. How mean I am. How much they hate me. They are crying and red hot angry. They are wishing for a nicer mom. To them, and I quote, I am the worsted mom in the world. You see today I took Nikki with me to the supermarket. They had these huge balls there literally three quarters of Nikki's height and well her width was completely obliterated all you saw was her head and the tips of her toes. We are talking about a serious, kick ass ball. I told her we could buy it so long as she promised to never play with it in the house. I promise, never ever she says, pinky swear. Well hey its a pinky swear one has to do what one has to do. She was in charge of pushing the shopping cart and I had to carry the ball. In the parking lot I balanced the ball on top of the cart and told her to walk right next to me. Of course she did not listen and came so close to being shwarma'ed by an SUV backing out of a parking spot as she ran ahead of me. Moms really can do more then one thing at a time, I managed to grab her, while shouting for the driver to stop. It was only after I grabbed her out of harms way did I realize that I had not even let go of my cart, or the ball and I managed to still get her in time - sheesh that fight or flight reflex just kicked in big time.

After doing Hebrew school car pool, we told Ry about our latest treat waiting at home, I reiterated to her about not playing with the ball inside the house. Did she understand. Yes she swore, she did. No problem. I swear no more then 10 minutes of being home, I was throwing together dinner, Carol was giving them a quick bath and I hear a banging sound and a fight between the two beauties. I throw open the door and there is Ryan bouncing the ball in the bathroom. I immediately confiscated it and explained that I am giving the ball away, their bouncing days are over. Its a hard lesson to learn and one I need them to know. Ry first backtracked and told me it was an accident, then how she knew that she did it but did not mean to. We have a zero tolerance for lying in my house. Not accepted. It was a tough choice as I had two hysterically crying kids in front of me, tears streaming down their faces. But in that moment I knew this $3.00 ball was a huge lesson that they needed to grasp, they needed to understand how life was made of choices, good ones and bad ones. Run across the parking lot ones. How they needed to think before they acted. How this ball while fun and frivolous is huge and could have inflicted major damage on them or the bathroom. How to stop and think before they do something. I smile inside when I hear them telling each other secrets about me because I know that by them being a united front and me being the enemy they will be bonded closer and deep down I hope that they will one day share a bond that sisters know. May this be their greatest adversity and may they, I hope, learn the lesson I am trying to teach them.

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