Family feud..........

There are very few people who piss me off to the extend that I cut them out of my life. One is my neighbour who happens to be certifiable, not in a good way. I personally prefer people who fall outside the realm of normal, she is so far out of that range that one wonders if she is even part of the species.

There is of course my cousin who sued my dad, and last but not least my first cousin. I have 8 first cousins. We grew up in close proximity and would spend tons of time together, it bound us all as tight as siblings, including small squabbles all which could be mended and we would move on to the next event. We are all close in age which gave us a broad range of common interests. As we got older, we all moved to different parts of the world, we all grew into whom we were destined to be. I am so fortunate in that I truly love and like my cousins, there is just one who leaves me cold.

I have been brought up that one does the right thing no matter what, sometimes to my detriment but the right thing needs to be done above all else. I came to the realization a few years back that doing the right thing was pointless when you tried to do it for people who had no concept of what the right thing was. So I learned to be selective, I learned to not expect an equal relationship but one where there was a certain amount of give an take. While it would be wrong to paint a picture of this relative as someone who is a take, she is not, but she is someone that needs life to follow a certain pattern and you are either in or out. I have spent too long being out, being judged for not doing what she deemed I ought to. She is not a huge fan of my husband and would go for months, sometimes years without speaking to me for some transgression or other, whether his or mine. Never having the decency to tell me what she was pissed off about, she was like a faucet moving from hold to cold in an instant. I decided to take that power away from her and just have nothing to do with her. I do not wish her harm, I just do not wish her to be in my life. As luck would have it, she recently got divorced and moved with her kids to Long Island, it certainly complicates matters as it puts my other realtives on Long Island in a rather difficult situation as I have made it abundantly clear that there will be no happy families and that I gratefully decline any events that include her in their home except for their birthdays or their kids birthday parties. Yesterday was one of those events, it was the first time I have seen her in over 5 years, almost 6. I was so surprised that I had no feelings for her and her kids elicited no emotion from me either. It surprised me. I had expected to feel anger or excitement or sadness or something. Anything. I felt nothing. I realized that I did not have to eliminate myself from those family events. She has no impact on me. I was shocked I have to say. My emotions usually run really deep, I can keep them in check from others but not from myself. Its amazing when you decide to move on from a place that is no good for you, its quite empowering to realize that someone you thought exerted some form of power over your life really has none. I guess its sad but it was a huge relief as I managed to enjoy my cousin's sons 1st birthday to the max. It was great, the kids had a blast and the funny part is they never realized that two of the girls they were playing with were as closely related to them as the birthday boy.