Describing the scribe
Dee, Yaeds and Heid, you have inspired me to start my own Blog, so here goes..............................
I have thought about this a bit today in the harried existence that is my life. I had thought what is there that is so important for me to say that I need to broadcast not neccessarily to the world but those I love. I guess that is what got me moving on this quest, I am blessed to have so many people to care about and so many who care about me. I have gone through such an incredible journey and have been fortunate to have lived 50 lives in one. I feel richer for all I have gone through both good and bad. I meet people who have lived such grey lives and am fascinated that it is ok with them.
I have to say my life has gone through so many ups and downs and the sheer magnitude of the immigration experience leaves me winded and wounded, after that whole roller coaster I now embrace the ordinary events that now rule my life. The bliss of parenthood, finding my way through the forest of friendship, constantly working to make my marriage stronger and better. The strength of my family and the people who I have chosen as family.
In the past year I have reconnected with friends who were such a strong part of my life in South Africa in my school years and it is amazing to me that they not only remember me but have this concept of me that I can't reconcile to being me. I remember that person they knew, so driven and self assured and I laugh when they ask me what corporation I am running today. Funny that, had I taken a time capsule and written my personal predictions about where I would be today, move over Bill Gates, you have met your match. But now that does not call me but it sends me in the other direction. I am not power house. I am not an executive running a fortune 500 company although I am still driven to succeed. I am mom. I never knew I could be so fulfilled by that job description, I never knew how tough and competitive the requirements would be, but I do know it is the most rewarding and quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done.
I am blessed with two little souls who are so vastly different and in whom I see glimpses of myself and those who surround me. There is my Ryan, she is a 6 year old who has a heart of gold. She dances to the music of her soul and is set to follow a path that is out of the ordinary, something extraordinary. She is an artiste in every sense of the world, she has such style and an incredible perspective of the world. It amazes me what her little eyes drink in, she notices the tiniest pebble in the rushing sea, she catches rays of sunshine in her butterfly net. She has such an eye for the world, both good and bad. She observes peoples souls, not their personas. She has a smile that shines from her soul and brightens up an entire room. I fear for her as she is not made to survive in the cookie cutter world I am bringing her up in, she has such a need to shine and I know she will one day be a beacon unlike any other and I try my damnest not to let her wings be clipped by the confines of the soceity within which she lives.
Nikki on the other hand is a 4 year-old drama queen of note, she is the comic relief in ever situation and manages to captivate people with her lobsided grin and devlish eyes. She is the center of all attentions, she handles people like puppets on a string, I am amazed that her tiny little pinky has me and so many wrapped around it. She has is stubborn and smart both to her benefit and detriment. I know she will do well in whatever she does and lead like the pied piper. She has a following and is my mini-mayor.
I never knew I could love two people as much as I do and feel so awed that my body could produce these wonderful souls.
I went to a psychic the other day who told me that Josh is my soul mate. I feel that he needs danger pay and am amazed how he views me - I have always said that I would love to see myself through Josh's eyes. I have never had anyone love me to the depths of their souls like he does. I can't believe what crap he puts up with. OK he is not the easiest baby in the world, but hey anyone who knows me - I need someone who keeps me on my toes :) He is such a rock, and someone I can truly lean on. I often look at other people, as is my nature, I love to delve into the mysteries of people and what makes their relationships work or fail. I try insert myself into some equations and always come to the conclusion that there is no better fit for me. I guess the romance edition of soul mate is not what I was expecting but the reality is he is more like a right glove to my left. Perhaps even a mitten to my glove :) Whatever we are, we work, and I guess that is what makes all the difference.
I have thought about this a bit today in the harried existence that is my life. I had thought what is there that is so important for me to say that I need to broadcast not neccessarily to the world but those I love. I guess that is what got me moving on this quest, I am blessed to have so many people to care about and so many who care about me. I have gone through such an incredible journey and have been fortunate to have lived 50 lives in one. I feel richer for all I have gone through both good and bad. I meet people who have lived such grey lives and am fascinated that it is ok with them.
I have to say my life has gone through so many ups and downs and the sheer magnitude of the immigration experience leaves me winded and wounded, after that whole roller coaster I now embrace the ordinary events that now rule my life. The bliss of parenthood, finding my way through the forest of friendship, constantly working to make my marriage stronger and better. The strength of my family and the people who I have chosen as family.
In the past year I have reconnected with friends who were such a strong part of my life in South Africa in my school years and it is amazing to me that they not only remember me but have this concept of me that I can't reconcile to being me. I remember that person they knew, so driven and self assured and I laugh when they ask me what corporation I am running today. Funny that, had I taken a time capsule and written my personal predictions about where I would be today, move over Bill Gates, you have met your match. But now that does not call me but it sends me in the other direction. I am not power house. I am not an executive running a fortune 500 company although I am still driven to succeed. I am mom. I never knew I could be so fulfilled by that job description, I never knew how tough and competitive the requirements would be, but I do know it is the most rewarding and quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done.
I am blessed with two little souls who are so vastly different and in whom I see glimpses of myself and those who surround me. There is my Ryan, she is a 6 year old who has a heart of gold. She dances to the music of her soul and is set to follow a path that is out of the ordinary, something extraordinary. She is an artiste in every sense of the world, she has such style and an incredible perspective of the world. It amazes me what her little eyes drink in, she notices the tiniest pebble in the rushing sea, she catches rays of sunshine in her butterfly net. She has such an eye for the world, both good and bad. She observes peoples souls, not their personas. She has a smile that shines from her soul and brightens up an entire room. I fear for her as she is not made to survive in the cookie cutter world I am bringing her up in, she has such a need to shine and I know she will one day be a beacon unlike any other and I try my damnest not to let her wings be clipped by the confines of the soceity within which she lives.
Nikki on the other hand is a 4 year-old drama queen of note, she is the comic relief in ever situation and manages to captivate people with her lobsided grin and devlish eyes. She is the center of all attentions, she handles people like puppets on a string, I am amazed that her tiny little pinky has me and so many wrapped around it. She has is stubborn and smart both to her benefit and detriment. I know she will do well in whatever she does and lead like the pied piper. She has a following and is my mini-mayor.
I never knew I could love two people as much as I do and feel so awed that my body could produce these wonderful souls.
I went to a psychic the other day who told me that Josh is my soul mate. I feel that he needs danger pay and am amazed how he views me - I have always said that I would love to see myself through Josh's eyes. I have never had anyone love me to the depths of their souls like he does. I can't believe what crap he puts up with. OK he is not the easiest baby in the world, but hey anyone who knows me - I need someone who keeps me on my toes :) He is such a rock, and someone I can truly lean on. I often look at other people, as is my nature, I love to delve into the mysteries of people and what makes their relationships work or fail. I try insert myself into some equations and always come to the conclusion that there is no better fit for me. I guess the romance edition of soul mate is not what I was expecting but the reality is he is more like a right glove to my left. Perhaps even a mitten to my glove :) Whatever we are, we work, and I guess that is what makes all the difference.
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